New Year, New Do's

I despise New Year's resolutions. They never stick. Then you feel terrible. So, I've decided this year I am going to make a list of the things that I would like to do, and do differently. Shall we begin?

1. Change my 'retirement' account over to a 401K or other retirement account. This is number one on my list of things to do because my old 'retirement' account is from the State and I can't contribute to it since I don't work for the State anymore. And haven't for, oh, 4 years now. Yeeeaah. I'm totally on top of things. So I need to switch it to an account that I can contribute to. But lets face it, with 4 kids, I'm never retiring.

2. Get on a strict budget and pay some debt down or eliminate it. We have never really set a true 'budget' per say. I would really like to get better about this and really see where our money is going. (i.e. how much I really spend at Starbucks. Or not. I've gotten better since being on maternity leave. No really, I have.)

3. Get in a good workout routine and make it truly a part of my life. I always feel great after working out, but I often lack the motivation to actually do it on a regular basis. Sure I attend Zumba once or twice a week and occasionally do Pilates, but that's pretty much it. I want to see a size 8 again, or if I'm really ambitious, a size 6! I want to shed this leftover (x4!) baby weight once and for all.

4. I want to keep the house more organized and spend less time cleaning and more time with the kids. I feel like we always have mounds of laundry waiting to be folded or put away. Laundry for 6 people is no joke! It never stops and it will never be done. I really want to implement chore charts for the kids and let them have some responsibility around the house. Peytonn is really good at helping, but the others......not so much.

5. Save some money. We had a nice stash put away for when I went on maternity leave and sadly that tank has run dry. It was nice knowing that we had some backup in case we needed it. So I'd like to start building that stash again and be able to take a vacation or something in the next year or so.

These are my top five things that I'd like to make happen this year. Some will be easy to accomplish, and others will be more of a challenge. I plan to research and take steps to really make these things happen and not just "talk about it."

What are some of the things you'd like to change in the new year?

Parent struggles

This post has been a long time coming. I've never really come out and talked about our struggles with Bennett, but I have made comments here and there about it. 

So, today I wear my heart on my sleeve as I talk about our second child, Bennett, and the struggles we face with him. Please be kind, as it is never easy for a parent to put themselves out there. 

I first noticed a decline in Bennett's behavior after his first birthday. And every year after that. I kept telling myself that it was just the toddler years and he would grow out of it. Our oldest child did, so why wouldn't Bennett. 

Bennett is five years old now and we continue to struggle with him. I worry because next year he will start kindergarten and I really don't want his behavior to affect his ability to learn and make friends. 

Our daily home life is a struggle. If you've ever met Bennett, I'm sure you have witnessed at least some of the chaos. Every single task, every single command is a struggle. I feel like I've lost my mind more times than I can count. I'm frustrated, sad, irritated, and blameful of myself and my parenting skills. I've said to myself so many times, "I teach parenting skills for my job, why can't I parent my own kid?!"  

Let me paint you a picture of a day in our lives. 

The kids start to wake up around 5-6am. About ten minutes after Bennett is awake, the first fight/brawl occurs between him and a sibling. I attempt to make breakfast and pack lunches for the day. (I send a GF lunch with Bennett to the babysitter) A few more arguments occur before breakfast is ready. Finally I call the kids to eat. Bennett is either the first or the last to the table. If he is last, he then throws a tantrum because someone is in the chair that he wanted. Once that is taken care of, I remind him 5-10 times that he needs to eat. He stabs my table with his fork and I repeatedly ask him to stop before I finally just take the fork away. He screams and cries.  Once he settles down I ask him if he wants to try again and he continues to eat. He is usually the last one still eating. 

It's now time to get dressed. I've laid all the children's clothing out and ask the boys to get dressed. After 10 minutes, everyone is dressed. Except Bennett. He is completely able to dress himself without assistance. If he wants to. I tell Bennett that I am leaving the house in 15 minutes and if he is not dressed, then he is going however he is. This also results in screaming and crying usually. Sometimes he says ok and gets a move on it. It's now time to leave the house and Bennett is dressed but without socks. I tell him he needs to get his socks and shoes on. He screams and cries that he doesn't know how to put his socks on. (He does!) Its now 7:15am and I am running around trying to make sure all backpacks are packed and lunches with the right kiddo. Get kids buckled in their car seats and all the diaper bags in the car. Mind you, I haven't eaten or gotten dressed yet. 

Once we return home in the afternoon, it's the same all over again. Dinner is the same, baths are a struggle, arguments/brawls with siblings, and he is usually the last one to sleep at night. 

Do I need to paint a picture of going out in public or an hour long mass?!? It's all the same.....a struggle. 

I've talked to his doc about it and we even had him evaluated by an OT, which was a joke. I've changed his diet to gluten free, attempted being really strict or more lenient. I feel like we've tried it all. I've cried so many times out of frustration. I know people stare at us when we are out in public and think "why can't they control their kid?!" Don't you think I've asked myself a million times that same question?! But Bennett isn't that simple, he isn't a typical kid. Because if he was, we wouldn't be struggling. 

He has some really great qualities. He is so determined, outgoing, loving, and wants to try everything. I just need to figure out how to channel that into positive things instead of the negative. 

I started reading this book and so far I love it! It really hits home. I love that it is Christian based and focuses on taking the will without breaking the spirit of a child. It has been the only thing I have tried where I saw results immediately. We still struggle, but I am so much more hopeful that we can get to where we want to be. I am happier and less stressed, which means Bennett is happier. 

I know there are lots of parents out there that really love their kids. But sometimes really struggle with how to parent that child the best. Please don't be judgemental of parents when you see them out in public. You have no idea what their background is. They know you're staring and making comments under your breath. They can feel it. They probably just want to grab some milk and bread and be on their way. And thank you to all those people who feel the need to tell me that I have my hands full. I wasn't quite aware. 

Concerns

Notice anything strange in this picture?

How about this one?

This one?

So, I've been noticing over the last few weeks that Mila always holds her head to one side. It's like the top of her head pulls right while her chin goes left. 

Do you see it now in the pictures?  

At first I thought it was just because her head was still unstable but then I noticed more and more. Every single time. I'm now starting to wonder if she has torticollis. I've googled it of course and I know friends whose babies have had it before. It sounds pretty identical to Mila and how she holds her head. 

I plan to call the doc on Monday and see if she needs to be seen before her 4 month appt at the beginning of January. I've already started working with Mila on stretching the muscles on that side of her neck, holding her in different positions, and playing in different positions. This could also explain why she dislikes tummy time so much. 

It doesn't look too severe to me at this point, but I worry that if it is ignored, it could turn into something a lot worse. We will see what the doc recommends. 

A million and one

LUpdates that is. So let's begin, shall we?

Mila:

Had her two month check up a couple weeks ago. She was more like 10.5 weeks old when we had it. 

Weight: 9lbs 3oz

Height: 22 inches

She is the size of a real newborn now. :) 

Mila is smiling more and more and starting to coo and 'talk' to you. She is tolerating tummy time a little better but still isn't a huge fan of it. If I lay her flat on her belly she will just scream. She prefers to be on her tummy on the boppy in my lap, up over my shoulder so she can look around, or somehow propped up slightly on her belly. She does better if someone gets at eye level with her and talks to her. But she still will only last about 3-5 mins, which the doc said was normal. And yeah, I asked. And yes, this is my fourth child. She also has a homangeoma on her head. Doc said its nothing to worry about and should go away by age 5. 

So let's talk about the fourth child, shall we? Let me tell you, you're just as neurotic with the fourth as you are with the first. Why? Probably because I feel like I am so busy that I am scared I will miss something, or not pick up on it fast enough. I'm sure the doc thought I was a complete whack job at Mila's appt when I'm asking her all these 'is this normal' questions. 

But anyways, back to the cute baby. She still sleeps amazing! She was averaging twice per night feedings (1am & 4am) but has recently moved to about once per night. Some nights it's still twice, but mostly just once. 

She is wearing all 0-3 month clothes and size 1 diapers. Confession: I invested in a nice newborn stash of cloth diapers and we barely used them. So I sold most of them. Fourth child syndrome. I still have our one size diapers and prefolds/covers, but extra laundry at this point just isn't in the cards right now. Oh well. 

Bennett:

Bennett turned 5 at beginning of November! Five people! Now if only he acted 5 and not two. Oh Bennett, you will forever be a challenge, but you are so full of life and say the funniest things sometimes. Usually right after he tells you he is going to kick you in the knee. You know, totally heartwarming.  Somehow it works on the girls at the playground. Every.single.time. I tell ya, those playground girls will fall for anything these days.  Can't wait for him to start kindergarten next year. 

As for the rest of us:

I'll be starting back to work at the beginning of the year about 2-3 days per week. I think I may work one day per week starting inDecember just to transition. I'd love to stay home full time, but kids are expensive. Especially once they are in school and I swear every week I'm shelling out money for various things: sports, market day, classroom parties, donations, etc etc. Let's not talk about the mouth apparatus Peytonn just got to help him avoid braces later. Yeah......$$$$$$

I've also been having some back problems which has required seeing a chiropractor 2-3 times a week. Then he recommended Pilates to help with my back. $$$$ 

So, back to work it is. 

We've also decided that four is enough. I have zero, I mean zero desire to be pregnant again. Or go through horrendous back labor again. Or another $50,000 NICU stay. Yeah,we're done in the baby making department. For reals. I feel very content with my two boys and my two girls.  So, there ya go, the answer the million dollar question. That I swear every person asks me. Even strangers. At the store, while I'm trying to corral the circus animals. And you want to chit chat about our baby making. Yeeeeaahhh.

Anyways, we also had Mila baptized this month. I tried to get the priest to dunk Bennett in the holy water again, but he wouldn't go for it. Too bad. 

Avonlea:

Well, she's two. Need I say more? She's a handful right now. Outings are torturous for all involved. But she's sweet and cute when she wants to be. 

She's talking more and more each day. I'd like to say that the biting has gotten less frequent, but when you have two older brothers that push your buttons, sometimes that's your only means of defense. But she still gets in trouble for it. 

Her hair is getting so long and I still don't have the heart to cut it. 

So that's about it. Exciting huh? We will be hosting Thanksgiving and Christmas here again this year. That should be exciting! 

Family pics and such

We had family pics taken back in September and I finally got around to ordering them a couple of weeks ago. I also went ahead and ordered birth announcements and Christmas cards while I was at it. They all came in the mail last week and they turned out great. 

We chose this as our family photo for above the fire place:

We got some with the kids as well:

This one is my favorite of the older three kids. It really showcases their personalities!

We seriously did family pics in 45 mins from start to finish. It was perfect! 

I've already started handing out the Christmas cards. Is that bad?! :)

Eight week update

Little miss is right weeks old today. She is really started to fill out and change and I'm loving it!

Mila is starting to get a double chin and has some rolls in her diaper area. She gave us her first smile at 6 weeks old and is starting to coo. She can track an object with her eyes and head, turn towards a sound, and make eye contact. 

She's right about 10 lbs now and was 20 inches last week when I measured her. She is outgrowing most of her newborn clothes and starting to fit into the 0-3 month clothes. 

She is a great nurser now and is eating every 2-4 hours during the day. Nighttime has still been great. Mila wakes only 1-2 times per night on average. She usually gives me a good stretch the first part of the night, and then wakes again about 3-4 hours after that feeding. Her typical wake times are 1-2am and 4/5am.  She hasn't had many bottles lately, but she did eat 4oz of pumped milk for daddy on Wednesday night while I was at Zumba. She still cluster feeds during the evenings and has been quite fussy from about 7-738/8pm when she finally passed out for the night. 

Overall, Mila is the chillest baby I've ever had! She is very easy going most of the time and just goes with the flow of things.  She can sit awake with us for an hour and not fuss once. She has really been a great addition to the family!

Just hanging out, watching football with daddy. 

Have you seen enough pictures yet? :)

Random things

1. What do sun drops (m&m's) and a two year old have in common? 

 

Potty training 101! We are in day two and making some good progress. Of course there have been accidents, but it's part of the process. She is in undies full time except naps and nighttime. 

2. I love all things Fall. And with Fall comes lots of good recipes. One of our favorites is creamy oatmeal. Super easy to make and a quick breakfast. I use 1 cup of GF oats (not quick cooking, you want old fashioned) and add at least 1 cup of milk. I usually add another cup of water. Or you can use two cups of milk. Whole is best, but 2% would work just fine too. I even used chocolate milk this morning and it worked great! Our favorite add in is creamy natural peanut butter. But you can add anything you like: bananas, raisins, brown sugar, pumpkin, etc. The kids love it and oats help your milk supply too if you are nursing. 

3. Another Fall recipe I've made is pumpkin donuts. They are baked and I made them GF using Pamela's amazing bread mix. It's basically an all purpose baking flour mix that is GF. They turned out great!

http://www.kingarthurflour.com/blog/2012/09/07/pumpkin-doughnuts-baked-to-perfection/

4. Mila is slowly getting bigger. It's so hard to tell when you see them everyday. But I can tell a difference in her clothing and such. I am really loving the Green Line diaper cover that we have. It's a one size cover but it is totally adjustable and I can actually get it to fit both her waist and her skinny legs. 

 

We are still using disposable at night and while out. This is simply because she is soaking her diapers in about 1.5 hours. Add in skinny legs. She needs the absorbency of bigger diapers but even newborn cloth diapers are still too big around her legs. This is what happens with preemies. Regular newborns would outgrow the newborn diapers about the time they would outgrow the absorbency of them as well. Not with preemies. She pees the same amount as a regular one month old would, but is still the size of a small newborn. So, cloth at home it is for a while. 

4. I'd like to never return to work, but still receive a paycheck. Now, how do I make that happen?! 😎

Four weeks old

Mila is four weeks old now and I am enjoying more and more each day of not being pregnant anymore. 

Her unofficial stats for one month are:

Height: 19 1/4 inches

Weight: 6lbs 

I weighed her on our home scale, so give or take a few ounces. 

She is still sleeping well at night, averaging two feeds per night. This is a vast improvement from the older three when they were this age. She is almost like clockwork for her nightly feeds: 12 or 1am and 4am. Works for me kiddo! 

This is a newborn sized outfit and it fits her quite nicely. Not overly huge on her, but still plenty of room to grow. Now if only all newborn clothes fit her like this. 

She continues to nurse well and is having lots if very wet diapers every 2-3 hours. Which helps me feel more relaxed that she is eating enough. Still nursing every 2-3 hours during the day and cluster feeding during the evening. 

We had her newborn pictures and family pictures done a few weeks ago. They turned out really well and the photographer was amazing!! We had family pics done in 45 minutes! Which was a lifesaver with four kids who have attention spans of about 3 mins each. 

Mila continues to be a laid back baby and just kind of goes with the flow of our family. I hope she stays this easy! The kids are really enjoying having her as a baby sister!

Favorites and 3 weeks old

We'll start with the baby because I'm sure that's what everyone really cares about. :) I can't believe she is three weeks already. Where does the time go?! 

We are still learning about each other but I think we are getting the hang of things. She is nursing so much better and we aren't using the nipple shield anymore. We've been working on a routine of sorts. It pretty much looks like this:

-nurse every 2-2.5 hours during the daytime

-cluster feed every 1-1.5 hours in the evening

-sleep from 8-9pm until 1-3am. Feed and change and go back to sleep. 

Now this is where it starts to get harry. Either she's up for two hours or she sleeps and wakes up around 4-5am and then by the time I get her fed and back to bed, the other kiddos are up.  So, we are still working on it but at least I am getting a good 4-6 hour stretch of sleep each night. Which helps me feels somewhat more human during the day. 

I've also been fighting some severe allergies. And I can't take anything because it can cause your milk supply to decrease or dry up. It's been miserable but I'm finally starting to feel better and I'm able to breathe again. Thank heavens for the neti pot! 

Since all children were up at 6am this morning, we decided to go to 8am mass. The girls wore their matching dresses and they both fit them really well. 

I might make more because literally, Mila's wardrobe is severely limited. We have newborn stuff, but it's still huge on her. At least a dress she can wear now and as a shirt still as she grows. 

Speaking of shirts, I got a bunch of stuff from Old Navy with the old navy cash that I had. And from that order I have some new favorite items!

One is this boyfriend cardigan. Love, love it! Soft and comfy! I got the gray and white. I loved it so much I ordered the camel colored one as well. 

I also got some tanks called tamis. They are soft and long and great for layering! I ordered the green and white and loved them so much I ordered the blue and the pink. 

Old Navy is having 30% off today with code 'thankyou'. Can't beat that!

Two week appt

Mila had her two week appt today. Her stats were:

Weight: 5lbs 5oz

Height: 18.5 inches

She is nursing much better these days. She's been cluster feeding in the evenings before bed and then usually gives me a longer stretch of sleep. Last night she gave me a 6 hour stretch, but usually it's 4-5 hours. My allergies have really spiked in the past two days and I can't take anything because it can dry up your milk. I've been miserable so that extra sleep really felt good. 

We've been using the sling a lot while out and she loves it. She gets all snuggled and sleeps the entire time. It's great for picking the kids up from schoolbecause then she isn't in the carseat the entire time. I also use this time to get her a little vitamin D from the sun since breastmilk is deficient in that. 

I've been enjoying my time at home. We've been on walks/bike rides and she really enjoyed the stroller. It rides so smooth. 

Her cord finally fell off yesterday. Most of the newborn cloth diapers are still too big around the legs for her. We have one cover that actually fits her and that's the Bummis super bright. 

It's on over an Orange Diaper co newborn flat in the kite fold. 

Her preemie prefolds fit but with only one cover, it's hard to cloth diaper full time. So we are mostly using sposies still. Even the newborn diapers go up past her belly button. 

Overall, things have been decent. Mila has been a great tempered baby so far. I hope she stays this mellow.