And we're home!

Finally! I felt like our NICU stay was a day or two overstayed, but we are home now and that is all that matters!

We went from this:

To this:

 

In just a matter of days. Mila came home on day 9 weighing in just one ounces less than her birth weight: 5lbs 2oz. Newborn clothes are still huge on her, even Gerber newborn onesies which are like the tiniest things ever!

She has super skinny legs, she barely has any fat on her at all. Baby gowns have been our friends because I only need to roll the sleeves up. I got her just a few preemie sleepers to get us by until the newborn clothes we have start to fit her. Avonlea was chubbier than Mila when born and skipped the preemie stuff. So we don't have much that fits Mila at the moment, besides baby gowns. In the picture of us going home, Mila's feet are really about where the knees of the outfit are. They are definitely not in the feet of the sleeper. 

Our first night home went pretty smooth. She woke every 3 hours to eat and then slept for about 1.5 to 2 hours after. I let her sleep from 4:30-7am and then woke her up to eat since her last feed was at 3am. 

Avonlea has done surprisingly well with her. So far, she adores the baby and gives her kisses. Avonlea still thinks the baby items are play things for her dolls and really that has been the only challenge so far. The boys also adore her and want to be near her when I am nursing her. We had a rather full bed this morning. 

The kids are in school during the day so it's been rather quiet around here today. Avonlea normally goes to the babysitter the first half of the week, so we have kept that the same for her. I forgot how quiet and easy one kiddo can be. :)

I've gotten some laundry done, dishes done, made some GF bread, showered, and relaxed on the couch so far today. It's soooo nice to be back home full time and not at the hospital for 12+ hours each day. That was really starting to wear on me both physically and emotionally. The boys were having a hard time with me gone for five days straight, so I decided to come home on Friday and just drive the hour each day to the hospital. Once they moved her to the CCN unit, they were going to let me 'parent over night' at the hospital, but she ended up being released the very next day. Much to my relief! 

I am ready for things to get back to normal again. Thank heavens for my husband who held down the fort and got the kids where they needed to be all week so that I could focus on Mila and getting her home. He never even got to hold her until she came home. 

He even got to feed her last night and I just pumped instead. I'm so blessed to have him and he is such a good daddy to our kiddos! After 4 preemies, he's definitely not scared to do diaper changes, feedings, etc. 

Mila goes to our regular doc tomorrow for a weight check and a once over. 

She's here!

Mila Josephine decided to join us on September 1st at 10:24am. She weighed in at 5lbs 3oz and was 18.5 inches. 

My water broke during mass at 34 weeks and 6 days. I was admitted that night to the hospital. I had every intention of going natural again this delivery. I was given cytotec orally every hour from 12-6am. By 6am, I was contracting every 2 minutes and I was 2cm and 75% thinned out. I was also having back labor again. And then I thought to myself, "I remember how horrible this is going to be and I really just want to enjoy it."  

At that point, I signed myself up to get an epidural and frankly, I'm so glad that I did. They started me on pitocin and my doc came to see me around 9:30am. Hubby had run out to grab some breakfast for himself. I was 4 cm. 

Miss Mila kept rolling away from the monitor and it wasn't picking up my contractions or her heartbeat. The nurses  were in and out of my room every few minutes. I text Hubby around 10:15am to see how long before he was back because I had a feeling it wasn't going to be long. Thankfully, he walked in the door a minute later. Doc checked me and I was complete. Three contractions later and miss Mila was born. 

Apparently the placenta had a premature abruption (where is starts to come away from the uterus prematurely) and they think Mila ingested some of the blood. The NICU team looked her over and took her to NICU. She was placed on cpap to help keep her lungs open and clear the blood out. Other than that, she is doing fantastic. All of her vitals have been great and as of right now there are no other issues. 

All day yesterday after delivery, she was very cranky and startled at every touch. This morning I went to see her around 5am and she was so much more at peace. Very calm and allowed me to touch her without startling. I spoke with the night nurse who also confirmed that she appeared much more calm. Her breathing has slowed to a more normal rate, which is great! 

Notice how relaxed her arms and legs are while she sleeps. Yesterday she looked ready for a fight at every minute. Her arms and legs were very tense and drawn up. 

She also has THE longest feet and toes! She obviously got those from her father!

I'm hoping to be able to stay until she is able to come home. I will get discharged on Tuesday but I'm hoping I can do Parent Overnight at the hospital until she is released. I did this after Avonlea was born as well. 

I'm hoping she will be off the cpap today and just have the nasal cannula. I'm also hoping to get to feed her today. I've been pumping and taking what little colostrum I am able to get, down to her in syringes. 

Please keep little Mila in your thoughts and prayers that she recovers quickly and gets to come home soon!

Hanging on

After a two day scare of possible labor, I'm happy to report that at 34 weeks and 4 days, I'm still pregnant! We just need to get through the weekend. It should be low key, so I hope that helps. 

It really all started on Monday night, I had some horrible menstrual feeling cramps down low. Then I couldn't get comfortable in bed. It took me two hours to finally fall asleep. I felt decent during the day on Tuesday. I rested most of the day and only left the house to take and pick up the kids from school. 

Tuesday night, however, was terrible. It started around 10pm. More horrible menstrual like cramps but they were wrapping around to my back. It felt like my hips were being pulled apart. I tried a heating pad and multiple positions to try and get comfortable. After about an hour and five pillows, I was able to fall asleep. I  was woken up about midnight to pains in my back. They were coming and going. Which really freaked me out. I've had three back labors and this definitely felt familiar to me. I got extremely nervous at that point. I really thought "this is it!" 

I got up and took a hot shower. Fully planning on packing my bag afterward and calling the doctor. I got out of the shower and felt slightly better. I can downstairs and took two more magnesium pills, drank a bunch of water, and had a snack. I was hoping the magnesium would calm my uterus down. I sat on the couch and watch some TV. I felt better. About 1:30am, I fell asleep on the couch and slept there the rest of the night. 

On Wednesday, my back felt like I had been lifting weights and was pretty sore. I still felt a lot of pressure too. I wasn't confident that I'd even make it to the end of the week. 

Last night I took a bath with some lavender Epsom salt. After I got out of the bath, the baby was super active. Moving around like crazy. Bennett woke up and went in to lay with the boys. I slept all night, without any pain or contractions! I feel much more like myself today. The back pain and pressure are gone. 

I'm starting to wonder if she had turned sideways and that is what made me so uncomfortable. Then last night she changed positions and gave me some relief. 

I know that I probably should have called the doc Tuesday. But now that I'm passed 34 weeks, they wouldn't have stopped my labor anyways. And I'd much rather labor at home for as long as possible before heading in. I have a doc appt tomorrow and I am fully prepared to get the talking to of a lifetime from her. And rightfully so. She is the doc, not me. 

I've packed the baby bag for the hospital. I really wanted to wait to do this until it was time. For the simple reason of packing NICU wire friendly clothes, or newborn clothes. But I've packed a little of both, just in case. 

I'll update more after my appt tomorrow. 

You're so small!

Honestly, I am sooooo tired of hearing this phrase every.single.time someone asks me how far along I am. It's giving me a complex that I'm destined to give birth to a 3lb baby!

So, you tell me. Do I look small for 34 weeks pregnant?

Here is my 34 week pic with Avonlea for comparison. I had her a week later and she was 5lbs 11oz. 

 

Thoughts? Opinions?

I also decided today that I was finished working. I had a bad belly day today and I just knew it was time to stop. This way I can rest as much as possible and hopefully get through this weekend. Please pray that I make it through the weekend! And until 37 weeks!

The crazies

I've hit that stage of my pregnancy when I start to get slightly (and I use that term loosely) emotionally crazy. It's the point when I feel like I'm on watch 24/7. It determines how I get up out of bed to pee at night, (Rolling out, instead of sitting straight up. Just in case you were wondering.) in hopes that I don't break my water. It's happened, twice now in fact. My water breaking when getting out of bed. And that scares me because I know if that breaks, there's no turning back. There's no hope that this baby will cook any longer. Whereas labor could come and go, or possibly be stopped. KWIM?

So, lets talk about Monday, shall we? I had a doc appt in the morning. I've gained 7lbs this month. I didn't ask what my total was. My white blood cell count was a +2 in my urine when it's normally a trace amount. Doc said she noticed my swelling. But my blood pressure was still rock solid. I told her my uterus had a bad day on Saturday. It felt very irritable no matter what I did. But then on Sunday I felt better.

She did a FFN test and it was negative. She checked my cervix. It was high, closed and firm. So no change from two weeks ago. All good things! She gave me the talking to of "if you feel like you did Saturday again, you need to call me!"  

She wanted me back in a week, instead of two weeks. And then I left, an emotional wreck. I felt like my hope was gone that I would even make it to 35 weeks, let alone my goal of 37. I got angry, really angry. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with my body that I can't/won't carry a baby to term? Why do the most undeserving people that do everything wrong in a pregnancy still have healthy babies and all I want it to take a baby home with me? Why is that so much to ask? 

I had just lost it. But you know what, maybe that was exactly what I needed. I took the day off yesterday and did absolutely nothing but take the children to school. I didn't do any laundry, dishes, or pick up a single toy. And it was nice. It wasn't stressful. I put my feet up and caught up on my DVR. And you know what, my uterus started to like me again. I've lost 2lbs since Monday, my swelling is down, and I feel better. 

I'm finished with work at the end of this month. I've told myself I'm not going to let the small stuff stress me out anymore. And that's that. 

Here we are at 33 weeks and 3 days:

She's as active as ever in there. Practicing her running and building up her endurance. Or so it feels. 

I plan to attend the Women of Faith conference this weekend while Hubby stays home with the kids. I hope to feel revived and refreshed and have a positive attitude!

Sunday randoms

Cause every once in a while you just need a random post. 

--Peytonn had orientation today for 1st grade. First grade people! He officially starts school on Tuesday. Bennett starts the following week. Where did summer go?!

--Avonlea is a holy terror at least 4 hours out of the day. Taking this child out in public isn't for the faint of heart. How early does reform school start?

--I'm 32 weeks pregnant today. And I feel every bit of it. I'm too the point where the panel of most of my pants is getting tight. I honestly would wear yoga pants for the remainder of this pregnancy if I could get away with it. It's probably going to be a lot of dresses from this point forward. That of which I only have 4. 

--climbing the stairs multiple times per day feels like hiking Grand Canyon. It's not even that I'm out of breath, my legs feel like they weight 100lbs each. They're just tired, sorry looking things these days. 

--hubby and my father in law built the kids a wooden swing set/play area yesterday. They love it. But I have yet to let them play out there today. I've already swept and mopped the floor 3 times since Friday night and I just want to enjoy it for a little while before they start tracking more grass and dirt in. 

--if one more child comes down these stairs to tattle on the other one while they should be having rest time....I may find myself a new home. 

--the mag/cal supplement that I started taking a little over a week ago has helped tremendously with my leg cramps and RLS! It's heavenly! Wish I would have started them sooner. 

--I need a nap. The end. 

Crafts and 31 weeks

II worked on some projects the other day during nap time. My first project was to dye some muslin blankets for the baby. I really wanted some bright colors, so I went with orange, blue, and purple. I also had some plain white onesies and I decided to dye those as well. 

 I let them soak for about an hour, agitating every 15 minutes or so. Then rinsed and washed on warm. Then I soaked them in cold water and vinegar to set the colors and hopefully prevent them from bleeding. 

Here is the first round where I dyed the blankets according to then package directions:

I love the bright, vibrant colors!! I need to finish sewing the raw edges of the purple and blue, but so far I love them. 

After I finished the blankets, I used the same dye and added another 2 cups of warm water to get different colors. 

I love them!!

After I was finished dying, I made a changing pad cover with some soft cotton fabric I found on clearance at Joann's. I used a tutorial that I found on Pinterest. It turned out pretty good and was rather easy to do. 

I've got some more fabric and projects in mind, but those will have to wait for another day. 

I had my doc appt today. I'm 31 weeks now. We did a fetal fibronectin swab (checks for labor in next 2 weeks) and she also did my group beta strep test. I've never made it to a 35 week appt to have it done, so they always give me the antibiotics via IV during labor. They are a b*tch and then my babies always have to have them after birth as well. They basically treat you as though you are positive, even though they don't know for sure. 

Everything looked good at my appt. I already got my results for the FFN test and it was negative, thank heavens! I have also started taking a probiotic and mag/cal supplements. 

The probiotics have really helped my tummy issues. The cal/mag can help with RLS, cramping, sleep, and irritable uterus. My doc agreed with me on taking both and I've already seen a difference. If they help me get even a little further, I will be a happy camper. I've even read the cal/mag can help reduce pain during labor. Now, that would be an awesome bonus!

I continue my shots until 36 weeks. Can't wait to be done with those, I'm not going to lie. I go back in two weeks for another appt and another FFN test. 

Bump pic @ 31 weeks:

  

Bare belly: