I'll preface this post with a disclaimer. This is more of a rant than anything else, so bare with me.
I'm slightly irritated by people and their seemingly harmless comments that I just can't get out of my head. We've all had thoughts or reactions when we see large families in public. I know I have, you know how it goes: you're in the store and then a family passes you and you just start counting the kids. I know I've made a silent comment to myself of "wow, 6 kids!" And then I watch them, all walking together quietly, helping the parents or holding the hand of a little one. And then I make another silent comment to myself of "dang, that mama knows what she's doing!"
I guess I'm just one of those people where large families don't really bother me. Maybe it's because I am involved with 4 different co-ops and most of the families have 5+ kids and homeschool. I'm friends with parents of large families and we attend a Catholic church with several large families. I don't even bat an eye at it anymore. Nine times out of ten, those 5+ kids are more well behaved than my three even on their best day!
So, I guess maybe it just took me a bit by surprise that people would make some comments about us being pregnant with baby number four. I mean, is it really that shocking that people still want more than two kids now a days?! Or that we view children as a blessing and a gift from God rather than creatures that take over your life and ruin any fun thing that you might want to do?! I feel so blessed to be able to be the mama to at least three amazing kids! They are my entire world and every decision I make surrounds them.
I really admire those parents of large families and I often go to those veteran mamas for sound parenting advice. Seriously, I am amazed at how structured, patient, and caring these parents are. I have learned so much from them.
So, I guess I'm going to end this little rant with a piece of my own advice: Please be mindful of your comments to others regarding their children and their family. Just because it isn't for you, doesn't mean it isn't for someone else. And no my children are not a curse, they are a blessing and I am lucky to be their mama! And I can't say that I am 100% positive I am done after four children. I have always had the mindset of taking it one child at a time. I know what I can handle and what my limits are. I would rather have a house full of chaos and love than a fancy car or 3 vacations a year. That's just me.
When I got pregnant back in August, my mom told my aunt the news and the first thing she asked was 'was it planned?'. My mom told me that and I immediately got mad. 1. What any business of yours is it to ask if we planned for this baby? And 2. Is there some rule that says you should stop at 2 kids? It was and still is something that rubs me the wrong way when I think about it.
ReplyDeleteNicks mom also made little digs about us having a third. The 'oh you'll never be able to do anything or go anywhere' comments. And they we said so much that I even told nick that if I hear it come out of her mouth again, I am going to get all pissy with her!
I don't know why people give such the side-eye when you have more than 2 kids and I am sorry you have had to deal with other people's rudeness. I have only had those two incidences but I wouldn't be surprised if I encountered more as time goes on and once the baby is here.
And while I know #3 is the last for us...I look forward to the chaos that this new adventure will bring. That chaos is so worth the reward in the end and if that means we can't move into a bigger house for a few more years, or we can't go see that new movie...then that's fine by me!
oh, my....i get this ALL the time! and i know we're busy and probably look crazy when we're all out in public, but i'm with you, courtney...it's awesome (MOST of the time).
ReplyDeletewe even had an older couple in our church tell us that we need a new hobby! that cracked me up!
congrats on baby #4 :)
I hopped over from Carrie at Farming on Faith. I've been here twice...this is the first time I am commenting. :) Yippee for *large* families! I used to be asked when I took my FOUR (only four) out if it was a daycare! I would laugh and tell them that they were all mine, and if there was time, I would add that mine was a small family compared to my friends who had 8 and 10 children. :) Enjoy those babies. Enjoy these years...they are precious!! And...they FLY by!! Take that from a Mama who knows. Today my first *baby* turns 18!!!
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you!
Camille